A Eulogy for Self

I can’t seem to shake this feeling like I’m watching my life flash before my eyes. Like I’m in my own funeral. It all started about a week ago when I fell ill (yes again). I’ve had this conversation about my health too many times so I’ll spare you the details.
However this time felt different. I wasn’t sad, or as sad as I normally was. I was just numb. Like I had accepted my fate. That’s when this whole funeral feeling started playing up in my mind. Like what does it mean to be dead? So I decided to write a eulogy for myself while I’m still here.
Forgive me for it may seem a bit grim, but writing has always been some form of therapy for me.

A Eulogy For Self: A Life Full of Love

So this is how it ends
Mother’s tears feel cold now
Father’s words seem hollow
Time’s arrow at a still
We finally have our rest

What was the meaning of it all?
What was my life really worth?
I look up and the crowd start to bawl
While the elders spill some alcohol
With hopes the ancestors accept my spirit

I guess we’ll never really know
The answers that life or death brings
But having loved, and been loved in return
Was what made this life worth living
Oh that wonderful feeling
Of knowing you’d do anything for them,
as they also would for you
Is the joy that brings healing

So wipe those tears away mama
For this wasn’t a bad life
We might have had our differences
And I’m sorry I never gave you a wife
But I pray the love from my friends
Will keep you warm at night

And dad, I hope you’re proud of me now
I hope you see the love I gave
So even if heaven rejects me
Or whatever purgatory may bring
I die knowing I did the right thing
Because to love was never a sin.